Success Isn't Enough. Why Achievements Don't Guarantee Happiness? Psychologist: "Dreams Are About Us"

You climb for years. You work your ass off. Finally, you achieve your goal—a promotion, a house, status. And then silence comes. And with it… emptiness. Why doesn't professional, financial, or social success bring us what we most desire—happiness? In an era of the cult of productivity and "110% performance," more and more people admit that achieving their goals brings them no satisfaction; on the contrary, it leads to burnout, depression, and a sense of meaning lost along the way. This phenomenon, though seemingly paradoxical, has a solid foundation in psychology, neurobiology, and… everyday life.

We increasingly hear sentences like : "I've achieved everything I planned, but I don't feel happy." This is what not only celebrities or millionaires say, but also ordinary people who have fulfilled their life dreams.

From a psychological perspective, this is the result of the so-called hedonistic treadmill —a mechanism in which the brain becomes accustomed to success and immediately seeks out the next challenge. This same mechanism explains why winning the lottery doesn't make people permanently happier, and why life's tragedies—though painful—don't necessarily mean lasting suffering.

According to research by Professor Anna Lembke of Stanford University, dopamine—the neurotransmitter responsible for motivation—is activated primarily before achieving a goal . Once you achieve it, dopamine levels plummet, and the brain rapidly seeks the next "stimulus." It's the neurobiological equivalent of... addiction.

That's why a promotion, a dream for years, becomes "normal" after a few days. A new car? The euphoria lasts a week, then routine sets in. As Harvard's Dr. Dan Gilbert puts it, the "landing place effect": destinations are stops, not permanent residences.

Psychologist Tim Kasser has spent three decades studying why some people achieve success yet remain unhappy. The answer? Because they pursued extrinsic goals : money, status, fame. Such goals are like a bottomless pit—there's never enough of them.

In turn, people guided by internal values – personal development, relationships, service to others – have a higher level of life satisfaction, even if they earn less or do not have a villa with a swimming pool.

Conclusion: Success that makes sense is success that aligns with your “why.”

Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's research clearly shows that the greatest sense of happiness doesn't come from achieving goals, but from acting in a state of flow —full engagement, concentration, and passion. This could be playing an instrument, coding, writing a book, or talking to a child.

Flow brings true fulfillment because it removes our ego and fears from view . Then we're not "someone successful," but simply—doing something worthwhile. Without comparison, without stress, without pretense.

Too many options, too many possibilities, and the pressure to be the “best version of yourself” can lead not to happiness but to decision paralysis and chronic dissatisfaction, says Dr. Barry Schwartz, author of “The Paradox of Choice.”

In a society of comparison (social media!), every decision becomes a field of judgment. Even success can taste bittersweet when compared to the success of… someone on Instagram.

Even if we find our dream job, it doesn't mean it will consistently provide us with an emotional high and happiness. Just like with children, the psychologist emphasizes, there will be "rough times" and "great times," alternating between them.

Niedźwiecka also talks about how we need to know exactly what we want to dream well. It's about deeply understanding ourselves and our inner selves—is this dream about me? Is it good for me? Do I need it from within, or is it driven by external pressure? It's easy to confuse our individual voice with the noise of the world.

Purpose over profit – act with purpose. Be inspired by the ikigai model – the Japanese philosophy of "reason for living."

Progress Beyond Perfection – Dr. Teresa Amabile of Harvard University discovered that daily progress is more motivating than major achievements. Take small steps. Every day.

Presence over productivity – practice mindfulness. 10 minutes a day changes your nervous system more than a bonus at work.

Relationships over things – according to an 85-year-old Harvard study, it is the quality of relationships , not income, that determines the level of happiness and life expectancy.

Don't give up on your ambition. But shift your focus : from what you want to have to who you want to become.